The Love of My Life Was Killed for Being a Jew. Now, I'm Fighting to Prevent the Next Poway | Opinion

Key Findings:

On the 25th anniversary of the passing of the last Lubavitcher Rebbe Menachem Mendel Schneerson Z’L, Dr. Kaye (who passed away on the first day of Rosh Hashanah in 2023) writes his op-ed. The Rebbe’s teachings have been his guiding light in processing the loss of his beloved wife Lori Gilbert Kaye (Z’L), who was murdered by an antisemitic shooter at the Chabad of Poway, California on Pesach. Throughout Lori’s funeral, the seven-day mourning period (shiva), and the agonizing days that followed, one key teaching of the Rebbe gave him strength: the belief that life’s challenges are presented with a purpose, and we are given the strength to overcome them.

Dr. Kaye recounts that Lori had attended the synagogue that morning to pray for her mother, who had recently passed away. Throughout her own grief, Lori found comfort in the Rebbe's wisdom on loss, and had purchased A Time to Heal: The Lubavitcher Rebbe's Response to Loss and Tragedy before her death. Though she never had the chance to read it, her husband now turns to the same book. He feels as though Lori, in her boundless love and care, had left this book for him to help guide his healing process.

The Rebbe’s perspective that Judaism may not provide explanations for tragedies, but it offers a response. The Rebbe taught that in the face of humanly-inflicted tragedies, the proper response is to take proactive steps to elevate the moral fabric of society. For Dr. Kaye, this teaching is crucial as he wrestles with the atrocity that took Lori’s life. The shooter was motivated by anti-Jewish hatred, and viewed Lori not as the kind, gentle woman she was, but as someone unworthy of life because she was Jewish.

In seeking to prevent future tragedies like the one that took Lori’s life, Dr. Kaye turns to the Seven Noahide Laws, a universal ethical code rooted in the belief in a Supreme Being who values each human life. These laws, he argues, form the bedrock of moral society and are essential in combating the twisted ideologies that fuel hate and violence. He believes that educating people about these principles can help cultivate a shared moral compass and prevent future acts of hatred.

The Rebbe, who passed away 25 years ago, had made one of his final campaigns the promotion of these universal moral teachings. Dr. Kaye emphasizes the urgency of this message. He notes that each act of hatred, such as Lori's murder, reinforces the need for society to be educated on the fundamental principles of human dignity and morality. Lori embodied these values throughout her life, treating every person with dignity and recognizing the divine spark within them.

Dr. Kaye reflects on Lori's legacy of kindness and love for humanity. While he does not expect everyone to live with the same deep piety Lori had, he believes that every human being has an innate moral compass that can rise above the hatred and depravity that ended Lori’s life. He calls for a collective effort to nurture this moral compass in others, filling the world with the goodness and kindness that Lori exemplified.